I'm extremely jealous of others. Am I narcissistic?

People notice that I act weird and think less of me. They make fun of me. Some of these people are in the family. What's it called when you constantly try to bring others down below you? I have extremely low self esteem and from self reflecting I just noticed I do this. People catch on to you before you even try sometimes as if though people can sniff low self confidence from a mile away. I have hard time taking rejection. I got in a physical confrontation with one of my family members and they left the house swearing to never come back. I'm constantly comparing myself to others who are better off than I am. I surround myself with people I view as less of me or accepting and bring them down. I am extremely shy/inhibited/afraid of others and paranoid. I've been reading up on this kind of stuff and some of the things I just mentioned were on a list I read on narcissistic traits. I constantly talk peoples ears off about my problems. It's got to the point that some people think I don't have empathy. I don't know if I have empathy or if I have less empathy than others.. How do you know if you care about others? I feel shame, but I don't know if I feel guilt... I heard that narcissist are at time consumed by shame. Where does the need to control others come from? I constantly want to be better than every body else. I know that the kind of stuff that I read isn't always "accurate" so I'm looking for opinions from others who have extensive knowledge on this criteria.